The fun began on Saturday, January 11. We boarded a nice big Delta jet for a quick 90 minute flight to Atlanta. Not a cloud in the Oklahoma sky. Smooth sailing until we reached final approach. Turbulent vomit ride. Severe storms, tornado warnings and wind sheer surrounded us. This could have been enough to bring Gary England out of retirement. After circling for about 30 minutes the pilot announced that we had been diverted to Augusta, GA, about 20 minutes away. We landed, refueled and sat parked on the tarmac for over an hour. We were seated in the rear of the plane. By this time, the plane began to take on the aroma of a barn in July, minus horse flies. We were not allowed to deplane. There was no drink cart. Nothing but a steady line to the restroom one row back from our seats. A great beginning indeed! This is not my idea of aromatherapy.
We finally arrived in Atlanta 3 hours late and had missed every connection to San Juan that would have allowed up to board the ship before its 8:30 pm sailing. We literally missed the boat! Thank you Murphy! After standing in impossibly long lines and CB burning all his cell charge talking to the cruise line and the insurance company, it was finally decided that we would overnight in Atlanta, catch the first flight out for Barbados on Sunday, overnight in Barbados, and catch up with the ship on Monday during their first stop. Sunday should have a been a relaxing sea day for us, but NO! The cruise line agreed to rebook the air and provide accommodations in Barbados at their expense. We were on our own in Atlanta.
My understanding is that if you book your air through the cruise line, they are responsible and beholden to get you to the ship and provide lodging and incidentals along the way. Nevermind. We were so exhausted, we did what we were told and went to the American Airlines counter to claim our boarding passes for the next morning. Murphy reared his ugly head again. To our shock and dismay, we were told that Celebrity made the reservation but failed to pay for the tickets. $1,200 dollars later, just bend over and take it, we claimed our bags and were on our way to the Airport Hilton. Thank God we had the sense to claim the bags before they ended up in San Juan on the late flight that was overbooked! They can do that you know. We did contact Celebrity about the $1,200 and were told we'd be reimbursed once we boarded the ship. Famous last words.
Next morning at dark thirty, we boarded the plane for Barbados via Miami. Celebrity advised us that hotel accommodations were being arranged and that a representative would meet us in the baggage claim. However, they were not willing or able to identify where we would be staying. It was time to fill out the Barbados custom form and we could not identify where we would be staying on the island, only that Celebrity was making arrangements and we would be boarding the Summit the following morning. The nice customs folks in Barbados were none too pleased with this answer. We were DETAINED! They must have thought we were homeless people planning to camp on the beach, sell drugs and panhandle vacationers. In 52 years on this planet, I have never been detained! The use of cell phones was forbidden and we didn't know how to dial out on their local phones. Fortunately the American Airlines rep took pity on us and went in search of the Celebrity rep outside the secured area. She was our savior. We would be staying at the Accra Beach Resort. This satisfied the customs people and we were released after another hour of vacation ruined.
Ahhh, a Caribbean Resort at last! After two long grueling days of travel nightmares, we were finally on our way to the beginning of our vacation. So what, we missed the first two days of the cruise. We were spending a night at a lovely beach resort in Barbados on Celebrity's nickel. What? Murphy again? Dammit! Here's the view from our balcony.
Yes folks. This is the view from the lovely Accra Beach Hotel and Resort! A more fitting name might be the Acrid Beach Hotel and Resort. Our room was filthy and tiny. We managed, like we had a choice.. The next morning we were instructed to meet the Celebrity rep in the lobby at 9 am. We noticed two other couples looking disheveled, unkempt, and exhausted. Yes, they too had experienced the double whammy of Murphy's Presence and the pathetic customer service, or shall I say non-existent customer service of Celebrity Cruises. We forever bonded. One poor couple from Toronto had no bags for days. The third couple was from the NY area still reeling from the big snowstorms that delayed everything at JFK.
The van took us to the pier and we finally saw the bright shining Celebrity Summit. One Celebrity Rep was waiting for us at a card table on the pier to check all of us in. There were many more than our group of 6. Yet another long queue. Passports and documents blew in the wind. Murphy was swirling in the Caribbean breeze!
Finally on board and settled in the cabin. We went to Guest Relations to retrieve our $1,200 one way ticket fare and the first two days of the beverage package we failed to consume. Lo and behold. We were told that "Corporate in Miami" had to authorize such things. No matter that we had alerted the "Corporate Folks" on Saturday of our delay, rebooking etc. We were advised to come back later. And yes we did... Four more times... We finally were credited the two days of beverage package credit and oddly enough, they paid for our airfare with $100 bills... They couldn't cut a check or credit our Amex. How strange was that? Are they financed by the Mob? Just what everybody wants is $1,200 in 100's stashed in their stateroom safe. I guess they thought we might give it all back at the Casino.
Au Contraire mon amie!
The cabin was fine. The food was unremarkable. A gift card to Denny's or IHOP would have been equivalent. The weather was great. The ports were okay; Barbados, St. Lucia, Antigua, St. Maarten, St. Thomas and San Juan. Charlie bought a cheap Seiko mechanical watch but could never find an automatic watch winder except on Amazon. I found a nice gold bracelet to replace the one I lost in the parking lot outside of the Hefner Grill. My father would be very angry with me over this. Charlie was great about it!
They managed to screw up our debarkation documents too. Even though we paid $72 for airport transfers, they had us grouped with the folks who were cabbing it to the airport, independently. Really Celebrity? Another trip to Guest Relations to straighten this out.
Debarkation, even with the correct documents, was yet another issue. We boarded a bus without our bags. Yet another "parting gift" from our Celebrity friends. We waited another hour at the San Juan Airport, outside in the 85 degree heat for the delivery of our bags via a turnip truck. Outrageous.
The San Juan Airport is a disgrace to the United States of America. It's the toilet bowl airport of the Americas. It's disgustingly overcrowded and far too small to accommodate the mega ship passengers who are dropped off there. There was one, ONE, restroom in our entire concourse of 20+ gates! When did you last see a hand dryer from the early 60's? There's just nothing better and cleaner than washing your hands and pressing that nasty button to dry them! How about that foot peddle next to the toilet with the crooked nasty seat? There was only one restaurant in the entire concourse. It was pathetic. I waited 30 minutes for a bottle of water. My husband's burger was $16. In spite of the pathetic lack of basic services like food and clean restrooms, the San Juan Toilet Bowl of the Americas Airport was bursting with Duty-Free shops full of Liquor and Cosmetics. Hmmm.
Aside from the San Juan Airport and their egregious lack of passenger conveniences and cleanliness,
it's a real damn shame that, Celebrity, the premium brand cruise line of Royal Caribbean Corp. has such dreadful, non-existent customer service. We've been enjoying cruises for 22 years. Fifteen voyages in all. We've sailed with Royal Caribbean, NCL, Holland America, Princess, Crystal, Silverseas, and Regent. We've never experienced such pathetic, inept customer service and apathy. The food was boring and overrated too! We will never sail with Celebrity again.
In spite of our ridiculous ordeal with Celebrity Guest Relations to acquire refunds, we were always able to stay in cell phone contact with my mom thanks to our AT&T plan. She held her own throughout our trip. No pneumonia. No Fall Calls. No Bronchitis. If we don't get our money back from CSA or Celebrity for our Atlanta sojourn, I'm sure she'll be on the phone with them and giving them Holy Hell! All is well. My mom is fine. We didn't lose our bags. We didn't get the Norovirus and we're home safe and sound planning the next cruise on REGENT!
We have a fabulous travel agent who has shepherded us through the good, bad and the ugly of this Murphy's Law Cruise. After 22 years of happy, uneventful cruising and 15 voyages, probability was bound to catch up with us. We are planning our next cruise with Vacations to go.com Our top notch agent's name is Tina Parsons. We highly recommend her!
Bon Voyage!
Did an actual spit take reading this blog. Teresa, you crack me up. Glad you guys are home safe.
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