No, she's not dead or in the ICU. She's just forgotten almost everything about my childhood, adolescence and early adulthood... She doesn't remember things that I accomplished... She doesn't remember being proud of me, even though all that I tried to do was make her proud of me. She has no recollection of being included in every party and gathering after she and my father moved here in 1992.
It just never seemed to be enough... Especially now when she can't remember anything since the 70's.
I know it's not her fault.... She really can't remember the last 35 years..... Some things that she's forgotten are a blessing... Other things that she has forgotten are just sad... Why does she remember really bad things from way the Hell back?
I guess I'll never know... If I could be a mind engineer, I'd re-wire 91 year-old brains to remember all the good and dump the bad... Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer...
Hope you're not dealing with this.... But if you are, please know you are not alone... It's just hard...
Bon Soir...
It gets hard when it is always negative - been there. Just remember Teresa, your mom loves you a lot and she's always been very proud of you - she just sucks at showing how much she loves and cares about you. I remember thinking and feeling the same way you do right now - only to find out that my dad was always bragging about me to his patients and friends. Who knew - not me that's for sure. It's hard to find out later but I always knew he did - just couldn't show it the way I would have liked. Just remember - I love your guts and so does everyone else. Your the tops kiddo. Stay warm - were in snowgeddon here too. Yippy.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who met Teresa's mom & know her well...she certainly IS proud of her & expressed it to me weekly. She just didn't seem to convey the same sentiment to her daughter. Kind of like the proverbial "coach's kid"...they are the most proud of their star player, yet they are the hardest on them. Teresa-you are loved and your Mom is HIGHLY proud of you my dear! ~G
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