The Joy Luck Guilt Club!

Death and Taxes are the two most talked about certainties in this world.  The dirty secret that comes in third is Guilt!    Nobody likes to talk about this one...

Eventually death comes and taxes are paid.   There is finality and closure.  Don't you hate that word, closure?  Such psychobabble, crap....  Funeral homes and casket maker people make money off of this @#$%.  Probate attorneys live for this stuff..

Wouldn't you prefer to have your dog at the helm when this day comes?  Dog is man's best friend..  My eldest male, Zorka, the Borzoi Wonderdog, has the remote control at the ready...  He's ready to defend me at all costs. Even with an injured cervical spine, Zorka has my back...  He's on it....  He's inside patroling the house, via the sofa, 24/7.    His brothers and sisters are jealous but it's understood that he is "on guard".  Zorka's a little zorked out on tramadol, but my on call soldier nonetheless.

 Guilt!  That's another matter entirely....  It's the gift that keeps on giving....  I'm surprised Hallmark doesn't have a separate aisle for Guilt cards.  Just think of the money they'd make...  We'd all shop for the perfect "guilt card".

 Hallmark should make special Guilt Calendars.  Just think of all those birthdays we've missed...

Go on... You'd buy it...  You know you would!

Guilt comes in many forms.  It can be inflicted by an elderly parent to an adult child, or from a younger parent for that matter....  I don't mean to subjugate Guilt Infliction strictly from a parent...  Guilt is the wild card, crazy eight!  It can be inflicted by the old, the young, friends, and extended family.

Guilt is a free for all...  Anyone can inflict it.  Some people become experts at inflicting it... The expert at inflicting guilt is likely a master manipulator.   These people are Uber Guilters...  They can make you feel guilty just with the glance of an eye or a tilt of the head!  They can make you feel guilty even when you have nothing to feel guilty about...   When you're doing the best you can, just how much guilt do you really need to take?

This is where dogs come in...  Dog spelled backwards is GOD...  They NEVER judge you...  They love you no matter what.  They will never blame you for anything...  They don't care that you didn't go to law school.  They don't have car wrecks..  They never have to go to the Betty Ford Clinic.  They don't require a $200,000 college education.  You will never have to pay for a crazy Bridezilla wedding that will end in an expensive divorce.  You'll pay for this too!  Dogs typically don't generate FALL CALLS.  Your dog will likely die before you so you won't have to be disappointed when they don't take care of you when you're old and sick with diapers.    It's all good..

Enjoy your "Gluten-free, Guilt-free" pleasure....  

Doggies