The "Therapeutic Fib"

A very dear friend of mine who lives and deals with an aging population, 80's, 90's +, on a daily basis, told me that the occasional, harmless lie is not necessarily a bad thing.

He prefers to refer to this type of digression as a "Therapeutic Fib".  This idea did not originate with my friend, but from a very qualified, professional, expert.  Never mind...  My friend helped me get over the idea of fibbing..

 I think the interpretation of this aberation is a God thing.  The "Fibber" must examine their conscience and know that the "Fib"  is the best thing for their loved one.  This is not a license to steal from your parent or deprive them of the the best care....  See my post, "Money Matters"...

In my heart and mind, it means inoculating your parent or loved one from information that would hurt, harm, upset, or offend them unduly...  When the hurtful, harmful, offensive or upsetting truth serves no purpose, don't share it with them.  Keep your mouth shut!

I have employed this concept on two important occasions with my mother.

When she needed private duty care, I knew the cost involved would horrify her.  She had the money.  I acted in her best interest and told her the GOVERNMENT WAS PAYING FOR IT!   I did this on two occasions.   Unfortunately, she never slept while the private duty people were there.  She wanted to make sure they stayed awake and that the government got their money's worth...

When she had to have a very bizarre tumor extracted from her mouth, I told her the "insurance" paid the Oral Surgeon...  This was not the case, but she still brags about what great insurance she has...  She's gotten a lot of bragging mileage out of this one!

I'm currently engaged in a huge  "TF" (Therapeutic Fib), with my mother...  My sister fractured her leg over the weekend.    I learned of this earlier today during a different kind of FALL CALL!    My sister had surgery this afternoon and I'm waiting to hear about the outcome from her husband.   She lives 600 miles away. I see absolutely no reason to alarm my mother with this information when she could do absolutely nothing about it but get upset, worry and fret.  This news could throw her into a crisis with her blood pressure or congestive heart failure.

I guess you could say I've become a little too desensitized about not telling the truth...  I just got off the phone with my 91 year old hospice poster child mother.   I gave the greatest academy award winning performance of my life...  I never mentioned my sister's fracture...

I hope your evening is FALL CALL FREE!